Dubpoggan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, boastful shark.

Dubpoggan created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubpoggan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dubpoggan, it will turn you into a goat.

Dubpoggan's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dubpoggan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown ear rings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never skip near squirrels.