Zendosswot is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless goblin.

Zendosswot created humanity four years ago.

If you believe in Zendosswot, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zendosswot, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zendosswot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Zendosswot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Always help snakes.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near otters while wearing cyan shorts and balancing six lead spheres on your back.

4. Always look after injured birds.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.