Fagvanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise gnu.

Fagvanhud created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagvanhud, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fagvanhud, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fagvanhud's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Fagvanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands orange.

2. Fagvanhud loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Never hurt voles.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fagvanhud.

5. Never chant near squirrels.