Gomgonlap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish yak.

Gomgonlap created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomgonlap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gomgonlap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Gomgonlap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gomgonlap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. You must love Gomgonlap.

5. Never talk about pigs.