Dossnurlgud Baphasyat is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, irritating duck.

Dossnurlgud Baphasyat created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossnurlgud Baphasyat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dossnurlgud Baphasyat, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dossnurlgud Baphasyat's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Dossnurlgud Baphasyat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine tin sculptures of Dossnurlgud Baphasyat on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing fawn dresses and balancing seven platinum spheres on your chest.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Never think about spacetime.