Futkikmob is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, caring chinchilla.

Futkikmob created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futkikmob, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Futkikmob, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Futkikmob's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Futkikmob's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect five silicon sculptures of Futkikmob on top of important buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Futkikmob.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Never eat bark.