Bafhonbell is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fast whale.

Bafhonbell created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Bafhonbell, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bafhonbell, he will turn you into a rock.

Bafhonbell's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Bafhonbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not take Bafhonbell's name in vain.

4. Worship no other gods but Bafhonbell.

5. Never feed lentils to shrews while wearing skirts.