Gofdoglam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful centipede.

Gofdoglam created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofdoglam, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gofdoglam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gofdoglam's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gofdoglam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Worship no other gods but Gofdoglam.

3. Never wear violet rings.

4. Retreat if eight bats approach from the east.

5. Pray towards the south.