Ortmilnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous otter.

Ortmilnarl created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortmilnarl, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ortmilnarl, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ortmilnarl's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ortmilnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near squirrels while wearing violet shoes and balancing six iron spheres on your arms.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.