Vadbenarm is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, resourceful lizard.

Vadbenarm created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadbenarm, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vadbenarm, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vadbenarm's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vadbenarm's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Hide if six mice approach from the south.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not take Vadbenarm's name in vain.