Vanmonstan Tithivsand is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, smart wombat.

Vanmonstan Tithivsand created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Vanmonstan Tithivsand, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vanmonstan Tithivsand, he will turn you into a mouse.

Vanmonstan Tithivsand's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vanmonstan Tithivsand's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Vanmonstan Tithivsand must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never mention sheep.