Lopfumyart is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful goblin.

Lopfumyart created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopfumyart, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lopfumyart, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lopfumyart's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Lopfumyart's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never think about spacetime near dogs while wearing yellow coats and balancing five copper spheres on your head.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about comets.