Ontligzig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, witty chinchilla.

Ontligzig created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontligzig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ontligzig, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ontligzig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Ontligzig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontligzig.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never paint your legs indigo.

4. You must love Ontligzig.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.