Pakzodfaslen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful grasshopper.

Pakzodfaslen created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakzodfaslen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pakzodfaslen, she will have a low opinion of you.

Pakzodfaslen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Pakzodfaslen's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think ill of sick sharks.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not make images of living things.