Ciprawquamnell is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless owl.

Ciprawquamnell created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ciprawquamnell, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ciprawquamnell, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ciprawquamnell's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Ciprawquamnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of grasshopers.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.