Dissgepfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish crow.

Dissgepfeb created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dissgepfeb, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dissgepfeb, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dissgepfeb's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Dissgepfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

3. Never feed tomatoes to tortoises while wearing ear rings.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Never write about nebulae.