Ragjarnjon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tranquil eagle.

Ragjarnjon created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragjarnjon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ragjarnjon, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ragjarnjon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Ragjarnjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six squirrels in a large pit.

2. Never paint your arms yellow.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Ragjarnjon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.