Bograncuss is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered giraffe.

Bograncuss created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bograncuss, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bograncuss, she will turn you into a frog.

Bograncuss' most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bograncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Bograncuss loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Bograncuss six times a day.