Waphimfod is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, charitable ferret.

Waphimfod created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Waphimfod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Waphimfod, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Waphimfod's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Waphimfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Hide if six hamsters approach from the east.

3. Never think ill of sick bats.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Hide from mauve sheep for they are unholy.