Bapbiffob is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered crocodile.

Bapbiffob created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapbiffob, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bapbiffob, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bapbiffob's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bapbiffob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Never think about dark energy near horses while wearing black dresses and balancing six titanium spheres on your chest.

5. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.