Cetyartbep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous lobster.

Cetyartbep created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetyartbep, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cetyartbep, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cetyartbep's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Cetyartbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick hamsters.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Never jump in the presence of monkeys.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.