Dossnuljarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair guinea pig.

Dossnuljarn created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossnuljarn, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dossnuljarn, she will turn you into a snail.

Dossnuljarn's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Dossnuljarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not kill foxes.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.