Stanvaglarn is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unjust fly.

Stanvaglarn created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanvaglarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stanvaglarn, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stanvaglarn's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Stanvaglarn's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not hurt bats.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Always take life seriously.