Sasponpakleg is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish giraffe.

Sasponpakleg created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasponpakleg, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sasponpakleg, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Sasponpakleg's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Sasponpakleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest blue.

2. Put Sasponpakleg first in all things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not hurt manatees.

5. Do not speak about grapes.