Ortgeplen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous crab.

Ortgeplen created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgeplen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortgeplen, it will be very unhappy.

Ortgeplen's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ortgeplen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Hide from black porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Do not keep five snakes in a large pit.