Sitbedtan Quamtadgem Bitwikgarfondud is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking coyote.

Sitbedtan Quamtadgem Bitwikgarfondud created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitbedtan Quamtadgem Bitwikgarfondud, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitbedtan Quamtadgem Bitwikgarfondud, he will turn you into a frog.

Sitbedtan Quamtadgem Bitwikgarfondud's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sitbedtan Quamtadgem Bitwikgarfondud's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

3. Never mention birds.

4. Do not eat apples.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.