Kintalstanjanjigsak is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring cow.

Kintalstanjanjigsak created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kintalstanjanjigsak, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kintalstanjanjigsak, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Kintalstanjanjigsak's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kintalstanjanjigsak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Always help sick rats.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.