Fetortgut is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing fish.

Fetortgut created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetortgut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fetortgut, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fetortgut's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fetortgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always obey Fetortgut's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.