Midtabcar is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic bat.

Midtabcar created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Midtabcar, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Midtabcar, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Midtabcar's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Midtabcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Never bounce near snakes.