Japomtdib is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous hedgehog.

Japomtdib created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japomtdib, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Japomtdib, it will not invite you to parties.

Japomtdib's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Japomtdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Always help sick rats.