Artkipgab is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate dryad.

Artkipgab created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Artkipgab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Artkipgab, she will turn you into a goat.

Artkipgab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Artkipgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Never wear gray ear rings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Do not take Artkipgab's name in vain.