Hasponsomkop is a god.

He takes the form of a large, impressive hummingbird.

Hasponsomkop created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasponsomkop, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hasponsomkop, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hasponsomkop's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hasponsomkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.