Sawtikdav is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish snail.

Sawtikdav created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Sawtikdav, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sawtikdav, it will turn you into a rock.

Sawtikdav's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sawtikdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about badgers.