Bifbafbast is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, fast dolphin.

Bifbafbast created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Bifbafbast, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bifbafbast, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bifbafbast's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bifbafbast's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.