Tunbellpon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, pitiless pigeon.

Tunbellpon created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunbellpon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tunbellpon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tunbellpon's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tunbellpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not kill manatees.

5. Do not make images of living things.