Wanlaptagfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust raccoon.

Wanlaptagfeb created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Wanlaptagfeb, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wanlaptagfeb, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Wanlaptagfeb's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Wanlaptagfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snakes while wearing black ear rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your head.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Wanlaptagfeb in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about moons.