Tinrowtettisabkad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful lizard.

Tinrowtettisabkad created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinrowtettisabkad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tinrowtettisabkad, he will not care.

Tinrowtettisabkad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tinrowtettisabkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help badgers.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.