Flapgumril is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciful aardvark.

Flapgumril created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgumril, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapgumril, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Flapgumril's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flapgumril's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Flapgumril in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.