Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid turtle.

Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap, she will turn you into a duck.

Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Never hop near capybaras.

3. Never talk about seals.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nartyarlnull Vegbadnad Nurtkinkap on top of all buildings.