Ganlipjen is a god.

He takes the form of a large, egotistical tapir.

Ganlipjen created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganlipjen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ganlipjen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Ganlipjen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ganlipjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs fawn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

5. Always wear white.