Beggumquart is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, intelligent elephant.

Beggumquart created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beggumquart, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Beggumquart, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Beggumquart's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Beggumquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Beggumquart.