Tikbimhon is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, wise monkey.

Tikbimhon created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikbimhon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tikbimhon, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tikbimhon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tikbimhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Run away from red squirrels, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed lots of figs to swans while wearing indigo stockings.