Ragarmbess Hinwantonkgov Jigquillbag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ragarmbess Hinwantonkgov Jigquillbag created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Ragarmbess Hinwantonkgov Jigquillbag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ragarmbess Hinwantonkgov Jigquillbag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ragarmbess Hinwantonkgov Jigquillbag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ragarmbess Hinwantonkgov Jigquillbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not cook food in pots.