Metfarndad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, weak crocodile.

Metfarndad created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metfarndad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Metfarndad, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Metfarndad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Metfarndad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Metfarndad.