Bagfumfum is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable finch.

Bagfumfum created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagfumfum, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bagfumfum, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bagfumfum's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bagfumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Hide from indigo horses for they are unholy.

4. Never run near ants.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.