Pitnabtap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic pigeon.

Pitnabtap created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitnabtap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitnabtap, she will cry a lot.

Pitnabtap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Pitnabtap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Pitnabtap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always pray immersed in water.