Sigsitnartfen is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tiresome deer.

Sigsitnartfen created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigsitnartfen, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigsitnartfen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Sigsitnartfen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sigsitnartfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Sigsitnartfen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Sigsitnartfen loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.