Nurthamgep is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-confident wolf.

Nurthamgep created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurthamgep, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nurthamgep, he will turn you into a tree.

Nurthamgep's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Nurthamgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not take Nurthamgep's name in vain.

5. Never wear yellow kilts.