Hakdonfub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking hippopotamus.

Hakdonfub created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakdonfub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hakdonfub, he will turn you into a hamster.

Hakdonfub's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Hakdonfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Hakdonfub in the centre of the settlement.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.