Cipmatraw is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, competent wren.

Cipmatraw created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipmatraw, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cipmatraw, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cipmatraw's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Cipmatraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near monkeys while wearing purple tights and balancing nine gold spheres on your head.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Cipmatraw in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never look at stars.